


a simple obligation

by TuxedoGal



Category: 19天 - Old先 | 19 Days - Old Xian
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Character Study, Desperate He Tian, Emotional Hurt, Family Issues, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, He Cheng is a Mess, He Tian is also a mess, Loss, M/M, Mention of Death, Post chapter 348, Sad, Sick Pet, he cheng's perspective, introspective he cheng, the last update ruined me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:00:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29204742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TuxedoGal/pseuds/TuxedoGal
Summary: He Cheng always did what he was told.That was what he was taught as the oldest— to follow orders and to comply. That was the way of his family and he had no business trying to be anything but what was required of him.[post Chapter 348 - After He Tian sees the dog]
Relationships: He Cheng & He Tian, He Cheng/Brother Qiu (19 Days), mentioned He Tian/Mo Guanshan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	a simple obligation

**Author's Note:**

> so the last chapter personally destroyed me and to cope I wrote this little oneshot to get into the headspace of He Cheng a little.

He Cheng always did what he was told. 

That was what he was taught as the oldest— to follow orders and to comply. That was the way of his family and he had no business trying to be anything but what was required of him. To fall in line was far easier than to make a fuss. A fuss made life messy, not to mention was a pain to clean up. His father had got him to clean up many messes over the years, be it talking heads down the street who are unable to keep their mouths shut, to loose ends who had overheard the wrong words. Shooting foreheads and smashing legs were the usual mess he dealt with. And He Tian, of course, was the biggest mess of all. The one their father had him perpetually pulling along despite the boy continuously digging his heels into the ground. Stubborn to the very end, He Tian was a job sent straight from hell. He was also the cause of many migraines. 

The truth of the matter was this, though He Cheng’s father was never around he had at least taught He Cheng from a young age to always follow orders, regardless of personal feelings.

He Tian was another story. He came later. 

Not exactly planning to have another kid, his father wasn't very welcoming to He Tian, but he was ambitious enough to want He Tian to be meld into the second ideal son. If He Cheng was imposing and domineering, He Tian could be persuasive and charming. He could be the people’s man. The master manipulator and the convincer of deals onto potential clients. And to be strong was a given for the He men. Survival was key, and only the weak were left behind. 

He Cheng was sure to teach these lessons to He Tian since he was young. Cheng can remember his neck bleeding profusely as he spoke harshly, but diligently of how their world worked. 

He told him, “If you want to rescue others in the future, then you must become the strongest of them all.”

Be strong, or be dead in a river— which could easily have been the case in that specific moment. Be strong or you’ll end up on the losing end, where death awaits your arrival. Those were the only two options. 

But He Tian was cunning and evasive. 

He didn't want to conform to some predetermined plan his old father set out, especially not a man who didn't give a single fuck over their dead mother and got happily remarried far too quickly to be considered normal. He Tian couldn't look away from these actions, nor could he unsee the coldness their family held towards one another. 

When He Cheng was younger he was closer to He Tian. 

He Cheng could recall days spent watching over the little boy. The times he spent helping him buy his favourite toys. The way He Tian would grin over every funny little thing he read or found out about, and shared it to him so eagerly. 

The kid was like an excited sponge, who followed him around and tugged at his pant legs whenever He Cheng didn’t listen after Tian had called for him. Hell, even that damn camping trip wasn’t too bad in hindsight. 

But their father had placed a wedge between them, one that could never be so easily passed now that He Tian was almost fifteen, and understood more. The young boy had seen far too much bloodshed already. Their family was dripping with danger, constant states of uncertainty, and adrenaline pumping in one’s veins consistently. The pressure to act quickly and to think methodically was always there, looming at the back of their minds from a young age. 

Over a short time period, He Tian had now realized his own identity. 

Not what their father saw him as or designed him to be, but who he wanted to be, who his friends see him as and care about him for. Of course, part of that identity was something he knew for certain their father would condemn, the love He Tian felt for a certain redhead. 

Nothing would make their father more disgusted than something out of his perfectly defined plan for He Tian's future. And He Cheng was the enforcer of this plan, the soldier who followed orders. The first born, but not the one who will be the star player on the field, for that honour was bestowed upon He Tian a long time ago. He had allowed He Tian to throw this tantrum for a little bit, but to continue it for this long was pushing the limit of their father's patience.

So He Cheng always did what he was told. 

Until now. 

He breaks his own principles. He shows He Tian the dog. And immediately realizes what a mistake this was. Seeing He Tian crumble at the sight of the dog crashes any conceived control of his own emotions. He Cheng peers down at He Tian and can almost see the outline of ten year old Tian from his past memories. Tiny and thin, but bursting with amusement and happiness. With so much senseless hope. And He Cheng has crushed all of it with a single misstep. 

He Tian looks back up at him with filmy red eyes and tells him, "I'll do it. Only on one condition." 

He Tian has no leverage to be asking for conditions or any requests at all. He’s the one who would be dragged around regardless of his own consent. The two of them know this, but He Tian still continues on, his hands clenched in the dog’s warm fur. She breathes deeply in a painful sleep, unresponsive to Tian’s touch.

"Keep Guan Shan safe. Not just his Mom now, him too."

He Cheng crosses his arms. "That's a big request to make."

"I won't do it otherwise," He Tian asserts and the blaze behind his eyes affirms this fact. He Cheng wouldn't be surprised if He Tian attempts to purposefully get injured to get out of their father's work or some other equally reckless equivalent such as running away from their family, which was essentially impossible considering how well spread out their father's connections were. 

"What's in it for me?" His brother must know that their family is only about transactions and deals. 

"I'll do anything he says." No hesitation. Just spoken aloud as if it were a simple matter to offer, and not signing away the rest of his foreseeable future to their father’s meticulous hands.

He Cheng frowns, not expecting his petulant brother who had fled from their father to hide at a nondescript school by weaseling into the pockets of their Uncle to suddenly flip perspectives so easily. 

He knows why, of course. 

The answer is clearly that redheaded boy He Tian had pleaded for He Cheng to protect multiple times. He Cheng doesn't enjoy doing grunt work for strangers. Especially poor strangers. There is no gain back from wasting time on a kid like Mo Guan Shan. But for He Tian to agree so unabashedly to whatever their father had in mind is far too tempting of a deal. 

He Tian beforehand had scoffed at the prospect of feigning interest in the business or doing as his father told. Swaying business partners, maintaining proper etiquette, speaking to the daughters of businessmen, and maintaining a relationship with at least one of them. There were many orders He Tian would refuse in the past, but now he offers to comply. 

So He Cheng agrees to the deal before He Tian can take any of his words back.

"Deal. You follow his orders and Guan Shan will be safe in your absence."

He Tian adds in, "For as long as I'm gone."

"For however long you're gone, I'll guarantee he's okay," He Cheng concedes.

"How long does she have?" He Tian is talking about the old dog again. He Cheng can't directly look at her without tearing up. He recalls how tiny she was in his arms when he had brought her to Qui's place the first time. Seeing her like this didn't sit well with him. 

"Not long," He Cheng states.

"I want to stay with her. Here." He tian’s head is back to curling over her prone state. Cheng only stares at the back of his head, unwilling to pry further.

"Okay." 

He nods at Qui and leaves He Tian kneeling beside the dog’s bed. 

Qui says, "I'll pull out the couch for him." 

Despite his words, the tattooed man still follows him to the door. Qui accompanies He Cheng downstairs in companionable silence until they reach Cheng’s sleek black car parked in the underground parking lot. The lot is empty of life, the two men the lone occupants, and each step they make echoes eerily as they sidle up to the polished car.

He Cheng takes out a cigarette, but his hand is shaking. His gloved fingers are unable to properly light the butt. Qui reaches across, steadying Cheng’s hand to light the cig with a simple click of his finger over the lighter. 

“There, better?” Qui raises an eyebrow in silent question.

He Cheng breathes in the burn, savouring its dive straight into his lungs. The man lets out a puff of smoke into the cold air between them. Cheng snidely remarks, “Not really.”

Qui says, "He'll forgive you for this. Maybe not now, but he will." 

He Cheng grins over the cigarette between his teeth and shakes his head.

"He hates me." 

Qui shrugs, his thick shoulders straining his tight shirt at the action. "You don't make it very hard to. With the Boss in control, it's expected. We all look like the bad guys to kids."

Cheng scoffs, "Because we are."

Qui rolls his eyes. "That's not the point. He Tian's going to come around one way or another. Telling him about her is the first step, now you just gotta act like an actual caring brother and maybe it will turn out well."

He Cheng playfully punches his fist into Qui's arm. "Shut up."

"So caring," Qui jokes.

He Cheng blows a cloud of smoke into Qui's face but the man is unmoved by the action, blinking through the smoke as if it weren't even there. 

"Give me a hit." He steals the cigarette from He Cheng’s fingers. Taking a puff of ash in for himself, his grey eyes unblinking as he returns the smoky exhale straight into He Cheng’s face. A childish payback, Cheng supposes. The man only blinks back at Qui as well, the two far too used to smoke to gain any real reaction like in their younger days. 

Qui hands the cigarette back into Cheng’s gloved hands, which eagerly pull the stick back over his lips, desperate for any distraction from what he’s done to Tian. 

The tattooed man leans his head back, shoving hands into his pockets to keep warm in the chill of the basement lot. He pauses and says what has clearly been plaguing his mind since earlier: "Stop faking a strong face around He Tian. It wouldn't kill you to shed a tear or two around him, you know." 

He Cheng frowns. "Over what? Manipulating my own brother successfully so that he follows our father's orders?" 

"Well, yeah, that too, but I meant more about our dog. She's going to be gone and I know you'll miss her just as much as I will," Qui explains with a close of his eyes at the thought of their dog leaving them indefinitely. 

Back then, when she was so small Cheng had not thought of any of this. This immense pain of an expected loss of life. Lingering affection from time spent caring for her all these years. Half remembered nightly walks in the park He Cheng would give anything to go back to, when she had the energy to run around without the force of old age bearing down onto her bones. There were no limping paws, no shaky limbs. She had been free and ecstatic to be outside and playing with the two of them. 

He Cheng looks away. 

Qui sighs, "We took care of her together. It's like losing a kid I raised and I"— his voice breaks off, looking at his feet. 

He Cheng grabs his hand, interlocking their fingers together. He breathes out, "Okay." 

Qui doesn't know what to say so he nods fitfully, tears creeping over his eyes. 

He Cheng's chest bursts in a pang of pain at the sight and Qui crashes into his open arms. 

Cheng stares down at the cigarette in his free extended hand. The ash drops to the ground at the jostle of motion and He Cheng’s eyes strain to blink down at the dirt staining the concrete. He can't tell if his teary eyes are from the drag of smoke over his lungs or the thought of their sweet dog being gone forever. 

He recalls He Tian and remembers what he has done. What he has agreed to. And of how he'll be at the end of his father's leash for the foreseeable future, luring He Tian into this mess as well. He was incapable of sheltering He Tian for long. It's his biggest regret, but he can't pretend that a new path isn't beginning for them any longer. Their dog is dying. Qui is crying in his arms. And He Tian will be leaving with him to the airport by the end of the week. 

He takes another puff of smoke and swears under his breath. Qui's fists clench painfully against his wrinkled shirt and He Cheng basks in the guilt overcoming his body like the slow stab of a knife.

**Author's Note:**

> In 2019 my golden retriever passed away. She was my family's dog and she lived till she was 12 years old, but that loss was very hard for me to deal with since it came so unexpectedly, and at a time when I was working a lot and thus, didn't spend much time at home with her. So honestly, this latest chapter hit very close to home for me, and must have hit others who have also mourned over the loss of their pet. I think He Cheng and Qui would feel similarly since they were the ones taking care of the dog the most, and of course, He Tian as well due to the personal connection he had with the dog and thinking he had lost them already, but instead he was robbed all these years with the dog. The last chapter was so sad. Hopefully, this little oneshot provides some relief to any of you out there who wanted to read a continuation to Old Xian's update.


End file.
